The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing — to reach the Mountain, to find the place where all the beauty came from…
(Til We Have Faces; by C.S. Lewis, Christian allegory writer)
So, I haven’t been writing much. In fact, I’ve largely deserted this little blog. Not entirely sure why, but I suspect it has to do with more time-consuming, mind-calming exercises. No, not my attempts at fast sprinting runs or humming swims, but long slow bike rides, languid walks, slow distance runs, and muscle melting hot yoga sessions. Wonderful, and when I’m through and finally home from a long day of out and about, my home computer sits sleeping, for yet another day.
It’s nice, actually. Wonderful, even, to have more time for reading and more time for cumbersome, but delicious dinner-making (risotto? conquered!), more time. Not that I throw so much into blog-writing that it takes that much time, but it quickly turns to time-suck, for me. One blog turns into another and another, and then I’m wondering why I don’t have a 100 dollar yoga mat or better fancier gear, cuter running clothes and why my lazy bum hasn’t finished a marathon, yet, I mean, come on.
Read that last bit with a playful tone. I love the realm of health blogs and whatnot, but it can be a little like a competition, in a bad way, for me, after awhile. Yes, I am beyond thankful for this blog and blogging community– I really don’t think I would have believed in possible for me (one who actively hated running forever) to train and race a 10-miler, and yes, I am so motivated to get to a marathon finish line, someday, but I also know that I put a ton of pressure on myself all on my own. Pressure that gets a little set on fire with added stories.
I guess, bottom line is, that plenty of times I’ve considered to come here to write a bit about a wonderful walk or a yoga class, but I felt a little selfish, wanting to relish more post-workout me time and more of the zen-ness that movement affords me without comparing myself, my active rest, to other people (though wonderful and total rockstars and achieving some dynamite fitness goals!)
Make any sense? I’m wanting to be smart about my own training, because I want to be able to run for many many years, not burn out because I know I’m oh-so-capable of burning out. So I’m taking a little rest, for now.
On a more plus note, I am signed up for a trail!!!! race, a 10k. Really pumped… I think it’ll be a little easier on the joints, but definitely a challenge to my muscles and my mind.
I must admit though, that I can’t stop daydreaming about certain race distances– half, marathon, tri… a certain longing. But ‘long’, as in still a long ways off for me. But I’m still so eager to get there!